Response Essay- The Rise of the Machines
25 / 30
83.33 %
Overall Feedback
You have written a clear and effective essay that discusses the text well, and the overall organization of your thoughts is good.
However, the thesis statement feels a bit hesitant, and a more specific and assertive expression of your argument would help set up the examples you discuss later on better.
Similarly, some of the body paragraphs feel hurried and incomplete, and expanding on those with more details from the text would help immensely.
Analysis Essay- Blue collar Brilliance
42 / 50
84 %
Overall Feedback
You discuss the text well, and your final few paragraphs are especially good at delving into how Rose constructs his argument. But much of the first half of the essay resorts to little more than summarizing what he says, and analysis asks for something different.
Note, for example, how your introduction and thesis statement focus almost entirely on summarizing the text. A strong analytic thesis statement goes beyond that the evaluate how effective the text is. That is what this essay needs more of–the critical examination of whether and how Rose achieves his purpose.
You do start to move toward analysis later in the essay, but the first few pages struggle in this respect.
Synthesis Essay- Blue Collar Brilliance
34 / 50
68 %
Overall Feedback
You discuss the text well, but this is more like a response, largely because you fail to refer to a second source and then resolve the tension between them. Synthesis entails examining more than one point of view, and you simply haven’t done that here.
Instructions
The final writing assignment for the semester is a Portfolio of revised work. This assignment consists of three steps:
Choose three essays to revise (from the Summary, Response, Analysis, and Synthesis)
Use my feedback on each essay, as well as input from others and your own rereading of your work to make meaningful, substantive revisions to the three essays you have chosen
Write a one-page memo to me in which you reflect on how you revised these essays and what you learned from the experience