When Advising Does and Doesn’t Work

1. Recall an instance when someone gave you advice that proved helpful. Review the guidelines for offering advice in this section and see if you recognize any that your advice giver followed.
I can recall a time when the advice I received was given in the right sequence. During this time in my life, I was seeking advice on whether to return to college. I was a single mother of four children and was not sure if I could handle all the responsibility of attending college and raising four young children alone. The person giving me advice asked me questions prior to recommending resources and advice on how to precede forward with my goals. After receiving this advice, I was able to complete a term of college successfully.
2. Now recall an instance when someone gave you advice that wasn’t helpful. Again, review the guidelines. Did that person violate any of them? Which ones?
I can recall several times when I received advice that wasn’t helpful. Specifically, I have been given advice that wasn’t needed. In one instance, the advice was a little too late. I had already decided what I was going to do with a very sensitive matter. I had already gone through with the decision. In this case I could not undo what was done. It only made me feel worse about the choice I made.
3. Based on your insights here, describe how you can advise (or not advice) others in a way that is truly helpful.
I think the best way to advise people is to ask questions. Make sure the person has given me all the details and ask them if they would like the advice. Sometimes people just want someone to listen. Sometimes just hearing themselves talk about their issue or even a positive situation, like choosing between two job offers, can help them come to their own conclusion without hearing a word of advice from me. In any case, it is important to listen carefully to what the person is saying.
Rules for Advising:
1. Is the advice needed?
2. Is the advice wanted?
3. Is the advice given in the right sequence?
4. Is the advice coming from an expert?
5. Is the advisor a close and trusted person?
6. Is the advice offered in a sensitive, face-saving manner?